Brand New

so long and good night, so long and goodnight...


hurray! Paul, my little sister Caitlin, and I are going to see TAKING BACK SUNDAY, My Chemical Romance, and The Used this friday night!!! i am so pumped to be seeing my beautiful TBS for the 2nd time in two months, it almost seems unreal. god, i love them more than air!!
  • Current Music
    My Chemical Romance - Helena
Brand New

I'm outside of your window with my radio...

today i did the hardest thing i have ever done in my life... I will admit, for quite a while i thought i was in love with paul, but one day, about a week ago, the feeling just kinda left. believe me, i was very mad at myself about this. i kept telling myself to get the feeling back, but i just couldn't. i could not understand why i didn't like him anymore. i mean, he is the single most incredible person i have ever met in my life, it's as simple as that. but, something is going on inside of me that made me stop feeling for him. it could be because i am not ready for someone to love me yet, or it could possibly be that i am just not ready for a serious relationship, i guess i'm just too young. but, either way, as much as i didn't want to, i had to end the relationship. it just wouldn't have been fair for me to continue to make him suffer, i had to tell him what was going on with me. i hope he realizes how much i care about him and that i did this for the benfit of us both. i do believe that if the two of us are meant to be together it will happen in the future, but for now it's best that we try and get over eachother


"Cross my heart and hope to,
i'm lying just to keep you here.
so reckless, so thoughtless, so careless,
i could care less."
  • Current Music
    Hawthorne Heights - Nikki FM
Brand New

i thought it through, and the worst of me brings out the best in you...

so, today = great!

i worked for a few hours, met the cool new girl at work, and then hung out with the best boy ever in the whole entire world (yes baby, i mean that. you are waaaaaay cooler than adam lazzara!)

so, i am really happy right now. i should be sleeping because i have a long day ahead of me, but i would rather be sitting here writing about my day. because, c'mon, writing and listening to saves the day is waaay cooler than sleeping, duh. lol.

so, now that i think about it, sleeping is better than writing, at least at 1am it is...

but, here is a song:

"If I were king of this night, would you become my queen?
And I hope, your majesty that you like your position.
I'll do everything I can to keep you by my side
and I'll stare off through the darkness to find us a kingdom.
Just kiss me before I go.
I'll have to walk a thousand miles just to find the ground deserving of your feet.
You could throw me down and walk on me
and I'd just look on through my love and through the haze.
And I hope, your majesty that you like your position.
I'll do everything I can to keep you by my side
and I'll stare off through the darkness to find us a kingdom.
Just kiss me before I go."

"Nightingale" - Saves the Day

dedicating that to me was the cutest thing any boy has ever done for me, and, for the record, i cried a little

  • Current Music
    Saves the Day - Nightingale
Brand New

so crush me baby, i'm all ears...

Do you sympathise with the fans who are a bit pissed off that they have been fans of yours from the beginning and now there is a whole new breed of fans that you have collected along your travels and also from having your video on music channels? - Ellie from Cheshire, UK

jesse: i absolutely do. and we are glad that we have fans that love us so much that they want to keep us to themselves. i've been in that postion a few times and it sucks. unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it. i just hope our fans now trust us to keep doing what we are doing and to give them their dues. this band rests on their shoulders, not ours. and we know that.

_-_This was taken from a fan interview on the answer given by mr. jesse lacey makes me love him and the band 1000000000000X more than i already did_-_

anyways, wow, i have not updated in a real long much has been going on lately.

Well, let's go back in time to October 2nd, 2004. This was the day of the long-awaited TAKING BACK SUNDAY/fall out boy/matchbook romance show. it was, needless to say, the most incredible display of musical talent i have ever witnessed in my entire life. i loved it more than air, heh. i almost dies during matchbook romance, but thankfully paul was there to save me. we got pretty damn close and had a fucking awesome time. i love TAKING BACK SUNDAY more than air and ice cream!

Then, on October 3rd i almost died, honestly. my blood sugar got really really low and i went into a hypoglycemic coma for a few hours. luckily my little sister found me and then my parents called the paramedics. it was the scariest thing that has ever happened in my life. it almost seemed like a dream and, at one point, i swear to god i saw paul and adam lazzara sitting on my sisters bed. and when i came around one of the first things i asked was where paul went. my mom was like, 'sweetie, paul isn't here, we can call him though if you want'. i told her not to, i called him later that night. very scary stuff....

so, this weekend was homecoming! zac and i went together and we looked totally fucking hottt!!!! i wore a sexy-asss black dress with white fishnets and long white pearls and zac had on black pants and a black shirt with white suspenders and an almost-white tie. then i had my hair in a sorta vanity-hawk and zac had a totally hott emo-hawk! we had so much fun, it was grand!!

i must be going now, time for dinner!

paul, my love, if you find this (lol) this lyric is for you:

"you shine so bright, you are the star that's in my sky. and i am yours, and you are mine"

  • Current Music
    Rufio - Why Wait?
Brand New

you are the blood in my veins...

oh man,
Take2DEhoopGRL34: schremser is talkin about ur ass again
Take2DEhoopGRL34: and both him and jake said its hott

isn't that nice to know? i thought so...damn boys are always talking about my poor ass. just leave it alone already, it's taken! yes, that is right, my ass is taken. end of story, no more ass comments.


i'm so lame, it really does make me laugh. like, for instance how i magically decided one day that i have the ability to stencil a shirt. god, was i horribley wrong on that one. but, hopefully i'll be able to pull something together before next saturday AKA 'the best day ever, which my whole life up to this point has been leading up to'. yes, that's right, the glory of TAKING BACK SUNDAY live and in person is what i have been living 16 years to see. hah, yes, it is, i'm lame..see, i told you all what a nerd i am, and now i really hope everyone believes it.

well, now that i am done rambling (for now) i can gush about how much i adore the gorgeous boy i am going out with. he is amazing...the sweetest thing ever in the world. so sweet, infact, that he asked me if i wanna go to hawaii with him over christmas break. now, as much fun as that would be, there are two problems with it, 1) we are both poor, 2) my mom, oh wait, no, there are more...3) i would have to go with his entire family = awkward, as much as i love them. so, it looks like we are going to have to wait a while for the hawaii dream to become a reality. and hopefully if i go a second time nothing painful will happen...

so, as tons of people have been told (but probably forgot) i, like, already have names for the kids i will unfortunately end up having someday. and i was telling paul this the other day and, aww, the brought it up today when i was saying what a cute name "Amber" is. here's the story: paul and i were on the phone and he was in his cross country team's van w/ the team and the coaches 5 year-old daughter, amber. so, i got all excited and was like, 'oh man i love the name amber!!' and then he was like, 'i think i like 'iris rose' better'. which is the name i told him i wanna name my first, i thought it was terribley adorable, and now we have to get

anywhoooo...i have a problem with procrastinating, i'm a 'failure by design', what can i say? awesome song... but, yes, i have a history oral report to give next wednesday and i have basically nothing prepared thus far. so, i need to put my lazy ass into hardcore history overdrive so i can get this shit done and get myself an A.


time for bed, sorry to end so abrubtly, but i have slight ADD and my right foot is fast asleep, which will soon be followed by the rest of my body...

toodles! ;)

  • Current Music
    Taking Back Sunday - Cute Without the "E"(acoustic version)